Break Free from Intimidation

Everyone arrived on time and there was excitement in the air. It was our first winter season together, and we were ready to roll. The whistle was about to blow, and our indoor soccer season was going to begin. I was going over some last minute instructions with the boys. Reminders about teamwork and communication, when to contain, and when to press. My U10 team had been playing together since June, so they were confident. Time to go to work.

Just before we broke our pre-game huddle, one of my midfielders looked over at the other boys, and intimidation started to set in.

“Coach, those boys look really big…”

“You guys think so? I wouldn’t worry about that. Let’s just play our game.”

And play our game we did. The boys played their hearts out. It was a thing of beauty. They stretched the field, they picked their heads up and found the open man, they found the 2 vs 1’s on the field and attacked, they even worked “give and go’s”. The final score was 5 to 1… It was our first victory of the winter session. Above and beyond the win, it was our first game and victory against boys a full year older!

My team had every right to feel intimidated. The other team was bigger, stronger, and faster. It was 4th graders versus 5th graders. 12 months is a huge difference at that age in terms of development. There was an obvious discrepancy in size, but it was my goal to start that game on the front foot. Within the huddle I purposefully evaded the fact that we were younger, and built confidence by emphasizing our past training sessions; thus eliminating intimidation.

In the business world it is easy to find yourself in intimidating circumstances. Imagine getting into the elevator with the CEO of the company you work for… It’s the main woman in charge! Do you say something about the weather, about her latest marketing strategy, do you compliment her shoes? That can be a very intimidating situation.

Picture a new sales rep, out in the field for the first time on their own. He walks into a major manufacturing plant for the first time, expecting to simply grab a business card and phone number to call back and schedule an appointment. This would be a huge account to land! All of a sudden the receptionist lets him know that the President of the company just had a cancellation, and that she will introduce him to the President right away…. First week on the job, meeting the President of a major manufacturing plant… This could make his entire quarter! Intimidation could easily set in.

Whether it’s in sports, business, academics, or relationships, intimidation can be a real obstacle. Public speaking in front of the entire class can be earth shattering for some people. Approaching that good looking guy or gal across the room can be extremely terrifying. So how do we minimize or even eliminate intimidation?

I believe that the secret to overcoming intimidation can be found in your preparation. If you’re on your A-game, there’s nothing to fear. If you build consistency in the daily habits that will lead you to success, intimidation will be the last thing on your mind. Your foundation for success can be found in your preparation. That’s what you will always fall back on. If you train at a high level, you will fall back on a high level of preparation.

Running into the CEO in the elevator could go a number of ways. But if you’ve stayed up to date with current trends, you can easily break the ice and win a new advocate within the company. If the sales rep had been reading personal development books consistently, and had been listening to success based podcasts, and if he worked hard throughout his sales training program, there’s nothing to worry about. He can fall back on his training and his habits. Despite it being his first week on the job, his passion and enthusiasm should easily shine right through any inkling of intimidation.

As a coach on the soccer field, and in the business world, my focus tends to be on culture and training. If we have the right people, with the right attitude, who contribute and work hard to get better, we are always going to win. Despite what the final score says, we are either winning or learning. Winning is great, but not much is learned at the top of the mountain. The lessons come from the challenges, obstacles and losses. That’s where we can determine the necessary adjustments needed to get back on course. That’s where we can reset our our training program, and our foundational habits.

Telling the boys that they just “beat up on a bunch of 5th graders” was so satisfying. They’ve trained hard since June, trusted their preparation, as well as each other. If intimidation constantly knocks on your door, it’s time to take a step back and examine your daily habits. Find a mentor who can give you some guidance, and develop a growth path that you can stay accountable to and win with. One day you’ll take a step back and realize… “I just beat up a 5th grader named Intimidation“.